Also it’s absolutely mind boggling how much time we spend thinking about if and when and how we might “get with” any woman we interact with. It taints nearly every interaction. Being perma-horny is no joke.
I’m not saying it’s the case for literally every male, but likely the majority. I’m glossing in on 40 and it’s slowly letting off. The contrast is stark.
That sounds so sad. I used to read things like this on Reddit and I always assumed it said more about that demographic (because I’m nothing like that) but now I have to wonder
I dunno; I’m more inclined to agree with your original assessment. I feel like my horniness is pretty par for the course for most men and I’ve never had that experience.
If anything, the degree of horniness most men experience I’ve found similar amongst women; most of my friends throughout my life have always been women and I’ve always known someone who talks frequently and candidly about sex.
I’d be much more inclined to think that men (on average) just aren’t as good at regulating and processing these emotions, for the same socialization reasons that a variety of other emotions aren’t processed well generally amongst men (including this weird…dirth of talking about any experience in terms of your emotions from authority figures throughout childhood). There was also always this sort of tacit approval of any sexuality-related interest I found, perhaps on the basis of “Of course you’d express interest in that; that’s how men move through the world”, that I always despised and I don’t think encourages recognizing the emotion of desire, processing it, and then being able to objectively think about it and conform it to secondary desires (such as, “This person is my friend and I’d like them to not be uncomfortable and still feel safe around me and feel like their boundaries are respected”); it sort of encourages an instinct to just act on something when you feel it.
I dunno; I’ve been plenty horny, throughout my life. Probably wouldn’t’ve turned down the offer of sex if it’d come up, prior to me getting married. I still can’t relate to figuring out how to move every social interaction towards sex. I’ve gone bra shopping with my friends and been told about all kinds of sexual exploits they’ve had and none of it’s lead to me propositioning them or figuring out how I could get them to proposition me.
The standard testosterone-driven penile stimulation orgasm - the one toxic masculinity has convinced 90% of men to pursue exclusively - is one of the ~5 small orgasms someone on estrogen has in the lead up to a proper one. Except because of the refractory period they can’t have a second one from penis/glans stimulation and anything else is gay.
So most men are in a permanent state of having stopped (their last round of) sex at the first orgasm, and that’s fucking miserable. No wonder they’re constantly off-kilter and desperate.
Also it’s absolutely mind boggling how much time we spend thinking about if and when and how we might “get with” any woman we interact with. It taints nearly every interaction. Being perma-horny is no joke.
I’m not saying it’s the case for literally every male, but likely the majority. I’m glossing in on 40 and it’s slowly letting off. The contrast is stark.
That sounds so sad. I used to read things like this on Reddit and I always assumed it said more about that demographic (because I’m nothing like that) but now I have to wonder
I dunno; I’m more inclined to agree with your original assessment. I feel like my horniness is pretty par for the course for most men and I’ve never had that experience.
If anything, the degree of horniness most men experience I’ve found similar amongst women; most of my friends throughout my life have always been women and I’ve always known someone who talks frequently and candidly about sex.
I’d be much more inclined to think that men (on average) just aren’t as good at regulating and processing these emotions, for the same socialization reasons that a variety of other emotions aren’t processed well generally amongst men (including this weird…dirth of talking about any experience in terms of your emotions from authority figures throughout childhood). There was also always this sort of tacit approval of any sexuality-related interest I found, perhaps on the basis of “Of course you’d express interest in that; that’s how men move through the world”, that I always despised and I don’t think encourages recognizing the emotion of desire, processing it, and then being able to objectively think about it and conform it to secondary desires (such as, “This person is my friend and I’d like them to not be uncomfortable and still feel safe around me and feel like their boundaries are respected”); it sort of encourages an instinct to just act on something when you feel it.
I dunno; I’ve been plenty horny, throughout my life. Probably wouldn’t’ve turned down the offer of sex if it’d come up, prior to me getting married. I still can’t relate to figuring out how to move every social interaction towards sex. I’ve gone bra shopping with my friends and been told about all kinds of sexual exploits they’ve had and none of it’s lead to me propositioning them or figuring out how I could get them to proposition me.
I picked my username partially because of this.
cw: sex talk, toxic masculinity
The standard testosterone-driven penile stimulation orgasm - the one toxic masculinity has convinced 90% of men to pursue exclusively - is one of the ~5 small orgasms someone on estrogen has in the lead up to a proper one. Except because of the refractory period they can’t have a second one from penis/glans stimulation and anything else is gay.
So most men are in a permanent state of having stopped (their last round of) sex at the first orgasm, and that’s fucking miserable. No wonder they’re constantly off-kilter and desperate.