I think cheating is wrong because it’s a betrayal of your partner’s trust. What I have no problem with is my partners being with other people. That distinction is why I put “cheating” in quotations, as it isn’t really cheating when I’m fine with it. I worry about romantic partners betraying my trust in numerous ways, both before and after I realized I was poly. However, that’s a perfectly common fear that basically everyone has, not just about their partners, but about people in general.
What really made polyamory click for me was the realization that my partners being with others didn’t bother me, only them not communicating about it did. I can definitely get obsessive and possessive of other people; I definitely fear that people might abandon me. At the same time, that can happen regardless of if there is a third person involved, and if anything, being ok with a third person meant one less fear that would keep me up at night. So long as we’re both clear about our love for each other (something we’d need to do anyways), I would be happy.
This is all without even mentioning how awesome it is to be poly. Flirting with cuties guilt free? Bringing people home to each other? Having different itches scratched by different partners? Getting intimate with multiple people at once? Being poly is the best!
I think cheating is wrong because it’s a betrayal of your partner’s trust. What I have no problem with is my partners being with other people. That distinction is why I put “cheating” in quotations, as it isn’t really cheating when I’m fine with it. I worry about romantic partners betraying my trust in numerous ways, both before and after I realized I was poly. However, that’s a perfectly common fear that basically everyone has, not just about their partners, but about people in general.
What really made polyamory click for me was the realization that my partners being with others didn’t bother me, only them not communicating about it did. I can definitely get obsessive and possessive of other people; I definitely fear that people might abandon me. At the same time, that can happen regardless of if there is a third person involved, and if anything, being ok with a third person meant one less fear that would keep me up at night. So long as we’re both clear about our love for each other (something we’d need to do anyways), I would be happy.
This is all without even mentioning how awesome it is to be poly. Flirting with cuties guilt free? Bringing people home to each other? Having different itches scratched by different partners? Getting intimate with multiple people at once? Being poly is the best!