I’m one of the good ones! Besides, I own the guillotine company, and you can’t have one.

Yes.

With a toddler! I wedged a little TV between the seats, facing backwards, and played a video of Cathy Rigby’s legendary performance of Peter Pan, over and over, all the way down, and all the way back. By the time we got home, I had the entire thing memorized, and I had never actually SEEN it.

Cleveland to Orlando.

I was supposed to fly, with my whole family, later that morning. We drove instead.

When I was young, I managed a tire shop for a time, and I heard that phrase from the service department, unironically, every day.

The front fell off. That’s not supposed to happen.