Listen. I am a coffee snob. I have friends who send me unique coffees from their travels, coffees that have light roasts and mangosteen flavor notes. I am adept at using a Hario pour-over, with a scale, and beans that I grind myself every morning. I know how to tweak my pours to change the flavor and body of my coffee, depending on the roast and bean. With all of that being said, I still have, deep in my heart, a love for that stale, black charcoal water that’s been sitting on a hot plate since time immemorial, poured into a scratchy ceramic mug and slid over to me with minimal effort and even an air of contempt by a woman who smells of Virginia Slim cigarettes and calls me “hon’” when impatiently asking me for my order. Nothing pairs better with crispy corned beef hash and runny eggs. Nothing.

Seriously. Why is it so hard to find information about restaurants on the internet? And why can’t you post your damn menu?!