Not me, but if you’ve been following the drama, they removed this post about the unique issues we face as “divisive.”
It fucking sucks. There’s been a lot of discussion in other trans masc spaces about “transandrophobia” and this seems to absolutely demonstrate it. We aren’t treated seriously in spaces that should be welcoming for us.
People assume “trans” means trans woman. Spaces for trans people are often for trans women. Jamison Green wrote a while back about us not really having our own community, decades ago, and it still feels true today.
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Reddit and discord are fundamentally unsafe places for trans people, any queer communities there are intentionally or unintentionally helping prevent people from moving to more safe platforms.
to answer to anyone asking why discord, any community that doesn’t have a focus on queer topics, statistically is not great for trans folk. Many big communities are, yes, but you also have to remember discord has a LOT of servers.
I know tons of trans people on discord. What makes it unsafe for them?
I think there’s a disconnect between people who use discord as an IM client and people who use discord as a way to find communities. Ive been using discord since like the friends and family alpha, and I’ve never once joined a server that was larger than “4-12 people I know irl who hate group texts.” The way I understand and think about discord is drastically different from somebody who uses it more like a decentralized forum full of hobby or creator driven communities. I’d guess that the latter half is what is being referred to as dangerous for trans folk, but again I cannot confirm as discord is functionally equivalent to like MSN messenger for me
I heard of people attacking the suggestion of switching to Matrix claiming they “want to remain accessible”. When the clients Cinny and Fluffy Chat blow Discord out of the water.
To be fair Matrix does lack a lot of features still. Video and voice calls are a mess, there’s not the equivelent of voice channels afawk.
For those of us who are plural, there’s no plural kit alternative (at least not widely avaliable), the moderation tools and permissions systems are a joke (we should know we used to moderate a whole server and several spaces). The search is really bad or non existent in several clients.
A lot of this is because those behind matrix are more concerned with corporations and their needs than the common user, and keep making really ridiculous and assinine decisions; like keeping matrix.org as open signups until it becomes too big to moderate and they have to start charging people for the privelege of decent performance, instead of what they should have done a long time ago and shutting their doors so as to encourage federation.
Matrix is actually not at all well thought through or accessible, we have never and will never use discord, but we can’t deny they have a point.
As a trans woman I wish that others in the community would be treated better. Trans means all trans people and that means enbies, men, and women.
I think that people generally associate trans with trans women because of the media. If we are scary then we are a more effective scapegoat. It’s easier to make trans women scary because they can brand us as perverted men.
I am also aware that there are significantly more trans women in online spaces than trans men. I also see people complaining about more trans women being moderators but of course that’s going to be the case when we make up a larger percentage of the user base. I have no idea what to do about this. I would like there to be as many trans men as there are trans women in these spaces but idk what can even be done to achieve that. I talked about this before with a trans man I know and we both had zero idea how to do that.
Trans means all trans people and that means enbies, men, and women.
Yes! My gods the experience I had when I first started actually figuring things out around 10 years ago was horrible because of people not getting this. I tried to join a few online communities that claimed to be for trans people or at least trans inclusive and it was such a horrible experience. Multiple large communities the literal second they learned I’m AMAB and not on HRT I either got outright banned, told my existence was triggering to other members and I should either leave or not participate in any discussions, or told that I’m not actually nonbinary.
That I just have too much “internalized transmisogyny” and I’ll be so much happier once my egg cracks the rest of the way. The last one particularly hurt because I’d had an entire gender crisis back in high school and I literally told them that the idea of being a woman felt just as wrong but in different ways as being a man and they just laughed at me like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Took me so long to actually start willingly engaging with trans communities again.
God I’m sorry.
It should be so simple. Not taking hormones doesn’t mean you aren’t trans.
If someone else is uncomfortable that should be their problem. It’s true for us and that includes you.
It should be! But my gods it feels like there’s a very loud portion of at least the online trans community that thinks that the only valid ways to be trans are “fem-leaning androgynous enby” if you’re AFAB and “trans woman” if you’re AMAB. As if the second that they can look at you and read “that’s a dude” you stop being valid or something. Which is so messed up.
I don’t know, I think that’s part of why I’ve always vibed more with the transmasc crowd than the transfem one despite being AMAB. It’s not the same but I spent my entire life getting bullied by the men in it for being too effeminate. I had a baby doll that I took care of while my Mom took care of my baby brother when she did something I couldn’t help with. I cried too easily, I didn’t care about cars and sports like they did, I had no interest in sex. It was like the way everyone else saw me was “girl badly pretending to be a boy” except I didn’t feel like either.
Yes! Enbies are valid and there are so many ways to transition. I always say to just do what makes you happy because everyone is different and there is no “correct” way, just different ways.
Trans sister here. This is awful. I absolutely stand behind my trans brothers and things like this bring us ALL down.
P.S. I didn’t find anything in the community details. If you’d rather not have me in here (the line about needing a transmasc community of your own is not lost on me) I’ll delete my replies and be on my way, no hard feelings.
