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Feeling stressed? Do the physiological sigh. Big breath in, short breath in, big sigh out.
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Feeling anxious? Go for a walk, when you walk your eyes naturally scan from side to side which deactivates your amygdala, and relaxes the body.
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Are you feeling Sad? Acknowledge your feelings, validate yourself and then move your body to release endorphins.
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If you’re feeling impulsive or angry, look out of the window, but don’t look AT anything, dilate your gaze, or zone out, this blunts noradrenaline, so you can think clearly.
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If you have low motivation, focus intently on one sopt on your screen for one minute and ignore everything else pupillary convergence increases focus.
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If you’re feeling insecure, write down your strengths, as the logic systems override the limbic system.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s some things that help, , journaling, writing down what you’re grateful for, going out in nature, breath work (wim hof), go for a drive or move your body with dance etc. This can help you sooth those emotions and regain balance, so those emotions aren’t filling up the whole screen and you can see around them again, and find ways to help yourself in the moment.
Credit: Anna Akana, Dr Nicole A. Tetreault.
One that is simple can be to change space. Having a fucking panic attack in your room? Move your body to any other room or outside.
it’s not magic, but a step and tool in coping.
I called a crisis line once years ago with my young son. We both were overstimulated and emotions were at the front. The worker kinda interupted us, and asked us both to attempt to say the alphabet backwards. Of course we had trouble with the task, but that wasnt the point, we both, my son and I, had to stop our feelings for a moment and think logically. Immediate relief.
It’s corny, but it helps many in crisis to mangage it more easily. Yeah sometimes its hard to turn on the logic when in this state, but thats why there are a butt ton of ways to do it.
Well done, for managing such a tricky situation so well! Absolute props to you!
The reason that worked is fascinating too, I love this stuff. When your fight or flight activates, it shuts down your thinking brain, so reactivating your thinking brain, is a cheat code to deactivating fight or flight.
absoluetly!
If bloogoose thinks things like breathing or going on a walk isn’t simple then I doubt they would think changing spaces is.
Honestly I think they just wanna argue.
I think youre right.
In my family there are… well all of em cept me and one my sisters, are unhealed, miserable, wont do therapy type people. I was telling her the other day, I dont know what we did that had us come out different then them. She said, “I think we just wanted it (healing) more.”
I rejected the idea at first, but I think she’s right. Some people just want to get better more than others. :(
Humans are adaptive. We get used to feeling bad. I got used to it when I was drinking more. Waking up hungover, needing a beer, counting the hours at work until I can go and get a drink to stop the shaking.
I had my own ways to deal with the pain and I got used to it. It took some time but when I got back into working out, or drawing or writing, or trying to learn a new language. I was just trying to distract myself to build up enough habits that didn’t involve drinking.
It’s tough, but it’s not. You got to do it everyday. That’s the hard part, but the tasks are simple. I tell my wife things that I think would help her. Like writing down her thoughts, but she had a bad experience growing up with her mom reading her diary and randomly quoting it back to her. She has trust issues with that.
That’s huge, my friend! You absolutely turned your life around! Well done! That’s absolutely immense, I’m so proud of you! That’s a lot to fight through, you must be very proud of an achievement like that!
I am so sorry your wife had such a negatively impactful childhood. That’s really heavy. Good on her for not forcing herself to do something that might cause distress, and listening and honouring how she feels. I bet she’ll find another way to find clarity. Maybe just talking with you is just as helpful, you sound like you have a very close and supportive relationship.
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to bounce back.
A lot of people lack self-compassion, and think they deserve to be miserable. They will fight you tooth and nail to resist changing, because they see change as admitting a character flaw.
Self-soothing and giving your brain a break does not make you weak, doesn’t cost anything but time, and has been around since the very first sad.
I absolutely agree. Our motivations are what we build ourselves into. What we see and focus on can become those motivations. If you see the glass half empty, that’s all you’ll notice, all the time. If you see the glass half full, you will find those silver linings more often.
It’s like when you buy a yellow car and then all of a sudden it seems like theres yellow cars everywhere, but theres the same number as before, you’ve just shifted your focus.
Theres a moment where you decide what your life focus is, maybe it’s always having better stuff than the Joneses, or maybe it’s living up to others standards, or maybe it’s finding balance and harmony in yourself and those around you. You can change your focus at any time, if you notice it’s drifted. I’m sorry your parents didn’t seem able to shift theirs as such. But go you for breaking that cycle!