No need to hit that close to home and i cant really blame my father for being emotionally absent. It’s kinda hard to be emotionally present or present at all form under the ground.
Mother was unstable, i suspect mostly due to undiagnosed ADHD and emotional dysregulation.
Though yeah, hyper independent is rather accurate. Overwhelming majority of the time it’s just easier for me to do everything myself than to explain or hope that someone else does it and yeah asking for help is rather difficult as well.
Anxiety is there as well, though not as debilitating anymore.
Burnout is missing or it’s just too vague for me to notice and consciously experience.
Yeah, same about anxiety and burnout, those are mild at worst. The hyper independence sucks though, now that I’m not actually alone. My kid is pretty codependent (maybe to the opposite extreme) and I find it like of hard to be understanding all the time. You could put me on a solo mission to Saturn and I’d be right as rain (or at least, same amount wrong with me as usual), how did I have a kid who gets nervous when nobody else is in the same room?
Yeah, i wouldn’t really mind a solo mission to Saturn. Hardest part would be that the things i usually need to do back at home would be left undone(in my mind) so id need to split myself down the middle so that one half can go to Saturn and other stays behind to take care of the basic chores.
How old is the kid? As it might be completely normal for a small child to want closeness and be around caregivers, while from our perspective it might be too much.
Like my wife is the same, as she grew up with 4 siblings. Her need for closeness is rather high and she almost can’t handle being alone. While it might be slightly higher need than on average, from my perspective it’s oftentimes kinda overwhelming.
They’re eight, but it seems less like an age thing and, from what he tells us, very much an anxiety thing. Like he feels like we don’t exist if he can’t see us. Might be ADHD related.
Fear of loss or instability from the kid. Even if everything is perfectly stable, kids are really smart — they overhear adults talking about how crazy the world is right now. Makes them worried. Can you 100% guarantee that nothing happens to you when you’re in another room in a chaotic and uncertain world? Anxiety makes your mind imagine the worst. Too many kids these days are a bundle of nerves
It’s something I have truly never experienced, and struggle to be understanding with. A lot of cognitive features are probably like that, if you’ve got it you can’t truly imagine life without it.
But at least you’re trying to be understanding with it.
Yeah it can be rather difficult to imagine pretty much opposite perspectives. Cant even assure you it ever becomes automatic, just need to constantly remind yourself the other person cognitive functioning.
Part of the struggle is how much I super hate even the idea of expecting less from them. I know they’re smart, and I’m proud of them. Pridefulness is definitely in the mix there.
No need to hit that close to home and i cant really blame my father for being emotionally absent. It’s kinda hard to be emotionally present or present at all form under the ground. Mother was unstable, i suspect mostly due to undiagnosed ADHD and emotional dysregulation.
Though yeah, hyper independent is rather accurate. Overwhelming majority of the time it’s just easier for me to do everything myself than to explain or hope that someone else does it and yeah asking for help is rather difficult as well. Anxiety is there as well, though not as debilitating anymore. Burnout is missing or it’s just too vague for me to notice and consciously experience.
Yeah, same about anxiety and burnout, those are mild at worst. The hyper independence sucks though, now that I’m not actually alone. My kid is pretty codependent (maybe to the opposite extreme) and I find it like of hard to be understanding all the time. You could put me on a solo mission to Saturn and I’d be right as rain (or at least, same amount wrong with me as usual), how did I have a kid who gets nervous when nobody else is in the same room?
Yeah, i wouldn’t really mind a solo mission to Saturn. Hardest part would be that the things i usually need to do back at home would be left undone(in my mind) so id need to split myself down the middle so that one half can go to Saturn and other stays behind to take care of the basic chores.
How old is the kid? As it might be completely normal for a small child to want closeness and be around caregivers, while from our perspective it might be too much.
Like my wife is the same, as she grew up with 4 siblings. Her need for closeness is rather high and she almost can’t handle being alone. While it might be slightly higher need than on average, from my perspective it’s oftentimes kinda overwhelming.
They’re eight, but it seems less like an age thing and, from what he tells us, very much an anxiety thing. Like he feels like we don’t exist if he can’t see us. Might be ADHD related.
Fear of loss or instability from the kid. Even if everything is perfectly stable, kids are really smart — they overhear adults talking about how crazy the world is right now. Makes them worried. Can you 100% guarantee that nothing happens to you when you’re in another room in a chaotic and uncertain world? Anxiety makes your mind imagine the worst. Too many kids these days are a bundle of nerves
Oh yeah. That’s object permanence issue. Might get better over time, but yeah can go hand in hand with ADHD.
It’s something I have truly never experienced, and struggle to be understanding with. A lot of cognitive features are probably like that, if you’ve got it you can’t truly imagine life without it.
But at least you’re trying to be understanding with it. Yeah it can be rather difficult to imagine pretty much opposite perspectives. Cant even assure you it ever becomes automatic, just need to constantly remind yourself the other person cognitive functioning.
Part of the struggle is how much I super hate even the idea of expecting less from them. I know they’re smart, and I’m proud of them. Pridefulness is definitely in the mix there.