Description: A five panel comic. In the first picture the main character leaves and a co-worker says “See ya, dude”. In the second panel, the protagonist is in a supermarket and the cashier says “Hey man.” In the third panel, the protagonist is on a train and someone on the phone says “Hello, sir.” In the fourth panel, the protagonist enters an apartment and says “I’ home.” and is welcomed by a woman who rushes towards her and says “THERE she is!” The two of them hug in the fifth panel, while the woman says “How’s my beautiful girlfriend doing??”
Art by Homunculus101
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So real. My wife is amazing and so supportive, I’m lucky to have her ❤️
I’m not out to everyone yet, and I feel bad she has to keep switching back to misgendering and deadnaming me whenever we go home to see family, I know it’s not easy
Geez, I thought I had family problems. (I initially started this statement with “man” instead of “geez” but realized how ridiculous that would be.)
I’m sorry you and your wife have to go through that, but congratulations on identifying the real you, even if you don’t share her (I’m guessing, genuinely sorry if misgendering) with the world yet.
I’m from the Midwest, and we use “guys” (“hey guys”, “omg you guys”, “thanks guys”, etc.) to address any group of people, regardless of gender.
When interacting with other trans individuals, I always feel bad doing that, but it’s engrained into my speech habits and really difficult to avoid!
It took a while for me to switch pronouns when my colleague transitioned. Up until that point I had been “hey man… man, listen… y’alright dude…” etc. (literally had no idea what they were going through until the day before)
I simply did not have that same banter vocabulary for girls, and I just had to learn to say “hey… listen… y’alright…”
The dynamic changed a bit for a week, but then it bounced back fine. I just wince at all the gender-affirming vernacular in my casual speech that must have burned them every time I said it
I simply did not have that same banter vocabulary for girls, and I just had to learn to say “hey… listen… y’alright…”
I just use the formal words for women in an informal tone. “Look lady”, “madam, I assure you this shit is fucked” etc
Isn’t that the same problem as using “man” though ? You’re affirming a pronoun that they genuinely might not jell with, and are too polite/scared of reproach to correct
They did mention that they were the lacking the vocab for girls specifically. I don’t think this was meant to be a general suggestion.
Listen here mother fucker!
Works for everyone over age 12
Buddy/champ/sport are gender neutral but maybe not the vibe you’re going for
My habit of calling every person “dude” and saying “man” as just a way to start a sentence regardless of the gender of the person I’m talking to has made awkward moments before lol. I never mean anything by it or even think about it but every so often talking to a trans friend I will go “oop, sorry”
Same, I find actual pronouns very easy but these more casual terms of address have been harder to find replacements for, for me in a non-binary context. Luckily my friends are very forgiving.
My go-to has pretty much become “friend” although this might not work with a colleague.
Hi all, not really a comment on this cartoon but a question if that’s ok, I often use guys and dude as gender neutral terms (interchangeable with folks for ex). Is that hurtful or misgendering, are those habits I should break? Ty
I mean the classic rebuttal is:
would saying “I only date guys” (/dudes) connotate gender neutral? Same for “That’s a guy.”
It’s “neutral” because it falls prey to the English language issue of having male-oriented terms as the default for people (whereas objects- ships, planes, etc tend to be female)
I think one argument would be that if you use “only” beforehand then the next linguistic object must (or at least should) be descriptive, meaning that if you only say “guys” then you’re kind of infusing meaning into it, which defaults back to how the word has been used historically. If someone said “I only date cool guys” then I think it’s more ambiguous.
That being said, I also think there is still quite a strong gendered connotation to guy/dude and the gender-neutral definition is pretty modern. The good thing is that language is defined by its usage, so if we decide to use it as a gender-neutral term then eventually that is what it will become.
I’m gonna go ahead and disagree with everybody else. I don’t like it. I generally don’t speak up for myself in real life, but it does bother me deeply. There’s no great solution, this is just my honest opinion that it makes me uncomfortable and I’m trying to not be this way but it does actually bother me.
Like. What do you even think this comic is trying to tell you? It’s EXACTLY like the comic, which is why it is highly upvoted.
Also, it is not gender neutral, it is more complicated than that and much more problematic. “You want to get fucked by ten dudes” is not gender neutral.
Varies from person to person. In general I wouldn’t worry about it too much, the way those are used is pretty gender neutral in general even though they can contextually be male. If you know you’re addressing a trans gal maybe make more of an effort for folks but I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If someone tells you it bothers them, then ya know, try not to. In general the litmus test for me is would it be a problem if they were cis? If not, then not a problem by default (if it bothers them, it’s an exception to account for)
Overall, I think it’s silly to be concerned over the use of guys and dudes instead of the tendency to treat everyone on the Internet as male.
The fact you want to be considerate puts you far ahead of the crowd!
I’d agree but not having to deal with theoretically gender neutral terms is a bit annoying. In German it is especially annoying because of the frequent use of generic masculine which is annoyingly common outside queer and feminist spaces.
I swear I am here for the wholesomeness and not because my egg is cracking 😭
🫂
felt, except I’m e-dating so my girlfriend is in my phone and on the other side of an e2ee, so I get her gender affirming messages during work sometimes.
I initially call everyone dude, but if I see even a modicum of discomfort when i say it I’ll change it up.
dude ❌
dudette ❌
dudex ✅
