When you have Pizza Hut
When you have Pizza Hutsorry for making the most low-hanging joke, but when I saw nobody else had, I could not resist
Had to be done.
Damn guess you can outpizza the Hut
the Hut wasnt outpizzad, the mandate of Hut has passed to a more worthy heir.
China has Chinese Pizza Hut, we get private equity Pizza Hut
What does it even mean for Yum Brands to sell one of their companies to Yum China? Thats also you!
Yum China is just keeping hold of its part of the company. The US is getting private equity pizza hut. I’m quite excited to see how this company could possibly cut even more corners
try the all new Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust Garlic Knots made with real cellulose and garlic flavoring infused hydrogenated oil.
for an extra $1, combine them with our rancho-cheeso dippers
Depending on who you ask, Pizza Hut would have an infinite number of corners to cut.
McKinsey and Monsanto are working overtime trying to replace the tomato sauce with red dye and artificial flavoring
is yum china partially owned by the government?
There were 14 months between the first Pizza Hut opening in the Soviet Union and the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Soviets didn’t control it afaik. Chinese firms control all foreign junk food joints operating in china.
Oh, it’s not China whose collapse that I’m setting the timer on.
Mandate of Pizza
strategic options for the chain
I push back by saying that making pizza is a settled science at this point and further assert don’t piss me off
They will continue to employ top minds to investigate the boundary of what can be called pizza
They’ve been cooking up some heinous creations
It looks like the demon shrimp cocktail hands in beetlejuice.
The inclusion of the ghost - free possession with every purchase.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
The last time I had pizza hut (like a year ago at a relative’s house) that shit tasted like chewing into a cheese flavored paper towel with air inside that it made me question my own childhood memories of pizza hut (but no that’s really just what private equity does).
no such thing as a settled science, that’s a strictly anti-dialectical concept
I forgot what I said that would prompt this and laughed when I remembered.
They’d piss me off because it would be a capitalist innovation so it would be like “use an AI to optimize your toppings” or this sort of thing.
Long overdue Degorbatchevisation
They need someone who knows how to build a business instead of someone who knows how to harvest it for shareholder value
we’ve reached peak oil but for business. it now costs more on average to start a new business than to create negative value
Trpf
Well you see, building businesses cuts into shareholder profits, so you’re not acting as a fiduciary in their best jnterest if you’re not doing everything in your power to deliver record-breaking profits for them every financial quarter.
Pizza Hut could just bring back the old-style restaurants and tap into that niche that it had built up in the 90s and 2000s. But it’s more profitable to be highly engineered uber dash slop.
From what I heard, a couple pizza huts did switch back to the 90s/2000s theme and had people driving from hours away just to come visit.
gimme the red pebbly soda cups you cowards
Except every chain is showing that pivoting to Uber eats/ Doordash is an absolute disaster.
Is it? I haven’t heard this. I thought it would be the only way to survive nowadays.
You have to give up a massive cut of the sale to the app, and it’s a lot harder to upsell or run specials when someone else is in charge of what the customer sees.
just keep a close eye out for anybody named 戈尔巴乔夫
戈尔巴乔夫
I got that reference
i guessed from context
Yum Cha
-ina
Yum Cha
I’m in a small rural college town that has a pizza place for every 1000 residents. I have not had pizza hut probably since 2009 when the buffet was the place to host events. The only national chain I will entertain these days is Marco’s, but is only in later hours when the local spots are closed down. Pizza is such an easy and well understood business that I have no idea how Pizza Hut has imploded so dramatically that people are now choosing Domino’s over them.
Our local Pizza Hut burned to the ground. For 3 years their sign said they would be back. Then the sign was taken down and the lot was put up for sale. Don’t know why the didn’t rebuild as it was a successful restaurant that lasted there for just about my entire life.
Leaving only the Dominoes a few doors down. Prefer Jets, but they don’t deliver to my area and have to drive across town.
Dominos has the poor mans $8 carryout deal. Pizza Hut was just vastly more expensive for fast food pizza with less deals so predictably it lost the plot post covid lockdown.
i dunno about the US, but pizza hut here sells pretty bad pizza overall. and it’s not even cheap. you can get pretty bad (but still better) pizza for less, or you can get good pizza for about the same amount (sometimes still less than pizza hut).
they also sell weird non-pizza stuff. i’m not sure anyone ever wanted those things.
so the baffling part isnt that pizza hut is failing, that’s to be expected. but how can their pizza be so bad? pizza making is well understood at this point. it’s a solved problem.
Pizza Hut is like the black slabs in 2001 that mark the transitions of global power.
dark pizza restaurant making ever-increasingly cost efficient and steadily improving pizzas
I like pizza enough that I can enjoy even the most garbage stuff, but pizza hut was another level of bad. I haven’t made any attempts to give it another chance in the past 10-15 years, and by the sounds of it I haven’t missed out on any dramatic improvements.
I wonder if it was higher quality when I was a kid, because I like it back then and I still basically have the same tastes I did as a five-year-old, other than a couple very specific examples like this one. After childhood I remember it as significantly worse than Little Caesar’s at like 3x the price.
